25 Hilarious Illustrations by Glennz

Everything I Thought I Knew About Velociraptors Was a Lie

Today I found out everything I thought I knew about Velociraptors was a lie. Now to be fair, everything I “knew” about Velociraptors came from the Jurassic Park movies and so I shouldn’t really be surprised it was all wrong. So if, like me, you thought that Velociraptors were slightly bigger than a human; reptilian looking; hunted in packs; were found in what is now the United States; and were ridiculously intelligent. Well, literally none of that is true.

Velociraptors were actually only about the size of a domesticated Turkey, being only about 3 feet tall and 6 feet long, with most of the length coming from the tail and weighing in at around 20-30 pounds full grown. More than that, they also looked somewhat like a Turkey as well, but with a long tail obviously. It turns out, Velociraptors were very similar to birds in a lot of ways. They had hollow bones, feathers, built nests for their eggs, and are thought to have behaved very similar to birds.

Were they intelligent? Well, for a dinosaur, it is thought they were somewhat intelligent due to their brain size relative to body size. But it turns out, that’s basically just saying they were slightly more intelligent than a board with a nail in it. For reference, the dinosaur that is thought to have been the smartest of all dinosaurs was the Troodon; it is thought to have been around as smart as a primitive opossum. So there goes the whole Philosraptor thing out the window. The deepest thoughts a Velociraptor ever thought were probably on the level of the Seagulls in Finding Nemo. “Mine?” Hardly the “smarter than dolphins, whales, and some primates” that Dr. Alan Grant in Jurassic Park III suggests.

So what were they thinking in Jurassic Park? Well basically, they modeled what they called the “Velociraptor” in the movie after the Deinonychus. The Deinonychus were also raptors, but were significantly bigger than the Velociraptors, coming in at about 12 feet long, about 6 feet tall, and weighing about 150 pounds full grown. Pretty much picture the “Velociraptor” in Jurassic Park and you get a pretty good idea of what the Deinonychus were thought to have looked like (although there still is some debate over whether they too had feathers, with many researchers leaning that way; so really, picture the “Velociraptor” in Jurassic Park and add feathers and you get the Deinonychus).

The Deinonychus also were thought to have occasionally hunted in packs to bring down larger prey and were thought to have been very fast. Their habitat was in the forests of North America. Now on the intelligence bit, they too weren’t really thought to have been very intelligent. Although, clearly they were at least smart enough to work together to bring down larger prey when the need arose.

UPSIDE DOWN WORLD

Man Bets On Life And Wins


A terminally ill man in the UK has won a bet that he would stay alive. Eight months ago doctors told him ‘not to make any plans for Christmas’. Last Sunday he collected £5,000 for outliving the grim forecasts, reports the Guardian newspaper.
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Jon Matthews, 58, was diagnosed with Mesothelioma – a cancer type linked to asbestos – in April 2006.

The longest anyone with the disease lived after diagnosis was 25 months, he was told.

When doctors said him last autumn he wouldn’t make it until the end of year, Matthews decided to literally take his chances. He went to a bookmaker firm to put a £100 bet that he would survive. Matthews insisted the bet would give him an extra stimulus to fight the illness.

“They checked all the facts out and that's why they gave me odds of 50/1,” he said.

On June 1 Matthews beat the record. His will to live rewarded him with a £5,000 prize, half of which he plans to give to a cancer charity and half leave for himself.

“Never, in thirty years in the business, have I been so pleased to pay a winning client £5,000,” commented a spokesman for the bookmaker

The Road

Having not read the book " The Road" I cannot comment fully on how well the adaption has worked but i shall start by saying if you have not read Cormac McCarthy’s novel then the film will leave you with a feeling of emptyness which can only be filled by reading the book. I have read several reviews on The Road and they all say that the film concentrates on more shocking aspects of the book.

I shall not give away any spoilers so there is no need to worry but I shall point out that the film is hard hitting in that it left me feeling slightly emotional. I only shed the one tear that I do to most sad films (unlike The Green Mile which left me a blubbering mess, and to this day I refuse to watch with the opposite sex in fear of crying more than they will) the end of the film was not as hard hitting as some of the moments throughout and Viggo Mortensens performance was absolutely outstanding. He had me engrossed and I felt his pain and understood his feelings towards his son Kodi Smit - McPhee who was equally as good I have to say. For his age he was captivating and engrossing, also Robert Duvall and Guy Pearce both portray excellent characters. The Old man and the Veteran both came across just as strong as the other characters in the film

The film also pulls off the whole “Post apocalyptic feel" extremely well. From the barren wastelands to the cannibal hideouts (yes I said cannibal) feel and look just like you would imagine although i hope you would not spend to much time thinking about cannibalism....sicko.

Though the plot sounds like something out of a horror film, the real power of “The Road” is found in the poignant and gut-wrenching meditation on the power of a parent’s love. Mortensen once again steps up to the plate and earns that praise, giving us a Man who is half-crazed from love for his son, the loss of his Wife and the burden of waking up everyday to hell just to make sure that breath stays flowing through his son’s body. The film quickly forces you to understand that this is a world where the most important lesson a father has to teach his son is how to properly blow his brains out if cornered by cannibals. Mortensen attacks these chilling moments with all the genuine concern of a parent who truly wants the best for their child, making such moments all the more terrible.


Anyway. I am not too good at this hole “Blog" thing but I enjoy it so if you read! I thank you and I suggest you pick up the Book and then watch the film as Viggo Mortensens performance absolutely blew me away. Who knew Aragon could not also slay orcs but shoot a flare gun pretty well!

I give the road 4/5